random

was really mad yesterday.thx to someone who ffk me.
like , i really hate that.

anyway , i had finished jps's trials.
gosh my results are tirrible.
like , sobs.really bad
it's another sign for me to really start studyin for spm?
not like i do not want to but i really find no way those words can go into my brain.
what m i suppose to do huh?

LoL.
miserable still stays in my heart .
like wth , i have no idea what caused this but yeah.
friends . exams . and everything.
i started to afraid i will lose all of my friends.
those really true friends that really gave out their hearts.
those who really be there when i need help.
like , we dont have to talk alot bt we just understand each other.
how m i gonna take it if we're gonna be apart.
like , there will be a new life n blah.

and i started to lost.
whats life?
someone sys its great.
someone says its hell
and i dont know how m i suppose to look at the world.
someone told me to trust only yourself.
someone said everyone on earth is selfish.
someone just revealed how evil is the truth.
what m i suppose to believe,
i used to.
really used to be a girl.
that thinks life is great.
i will enjoy every moment of my life.regardless.
every memories in my life . its precious.
but why does the truth just prove me wrong
why does everyone changed when it comes to reality,.
i thought people always say no matter what , its friendship , love , brotherhood , family and so on.
thats so not true.haha
started to realise whats life and yet hope what i understand now its not what normally people call life.
haha.
my world sounds so dark now.=D




when is the super duper hyper me comin back i wonder..

choices.

regardless , I HATE CHOICES.
why do people have to choose?
for a better life .but how do u noe which one leads to your better life.
urgh.dont u just know how unfair it is to be a person that can have 10000 opportunities to choose yet she'll still choose the wrng one?

dont we just born to know life is unfair.
sometimes we give out 100% but what we recieve is like, just a lil part of it?
oh people , life is just unfair.
just pick it up n keep it in ur fragile heart,.

was really depressed recently.
everything just came to me like,,'hello , i m here to visit u'
darn.
exams. to be really konest i gave up because i m afraid.
what does trials means and what does the real spm mean?
i just dont wanna let them down but thats my best already.
i m not a born -to-be-smart girl , i admit.
thats all i can do n i will do better if i cant.
but i really cant.

friends is another thing i was super worried about.
i used to rely on friends alot. and i mean it.
i have no confidence on what are we so gonna be.
everyone says its ok cz we still can keep in touch,
i personally doesnt think it makes sense.
a person , is gonna live in a new environment,new friends , new life.
there isnt enough time for everyone , right?


and to u , <3
its already 3 yrs n guess what , everything is just fresh in my mind.
how r u doing?
i was sitting infront of my study table n memories just rushed into my mind.
i remember how i promise myself to not shed my tears anymore for u .
but it just dropped easily.
i think that's fate.
like how we are not meant to be.
to recall all these,
arent these jokes?
that had been fooling and torturing both of us?
since the day , i started to grow.
to forget.
to let go.
but until today , i cant forget a single thing about u
altho everything bout u have been dump away.
then i understand.
boy , this is life and this is love.
it;s fated to be so.
lets just get our asses off and face it.
like how u told me. close your eyes and walk thru it,.=]
it;s impossible to forget u and i will never do so.
but havin u as a part of my memories is already enough.
no matter how deep is the cut , one day it heals.
i'm sorry we cant finished the story we talked about.
i believe there's a better future ahead u ,huh?
i think its time to let go .
bye.for the very last time , i love you.































ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.haha.shut this window down if u seriously thinks brenda is annoyin. i dont give a damn.isnt this my space to just spilt whatever i want?










i m so gonna miss form 5.and my classmates...i used to hate them but i found that they are okay actually.there r somehow funny,nice people....i think,i'm getting use of their existence already?haha.god knows.








for once, let the dream control yourself. i m tired ,really tired. someone , just bring me somewhere pls.














loves,brenda