cloudyy

gah, i tried really hard to live my life.
but things just cant stop bothering my life.

why is people just get jealous easily?
is authority really that important?
does milgram's experiment correctly proves that?
i guess so.
i dont understand.
cant you just explain why. ?
urgh..
i give up.
i hate those words coming out from your mouth.
those mean words that stab into my heart.
how can u
throw those words out like no body's buiness.
insane. scary. creepy.
thats all i can think about you.
anyways , i dont blame you.
because , everyone desires a different life.
all i can say is good luck.
and to be truthful , i really appreciate you as a friend , once even a close one.
maybe , we are just not fated to be close friends .
maybe , this is just a lil tiny obstacle.
i have no idea ,
but i think i need to take a break
atleast , to prepare myself.
and ready to take it up and let be friends again.
i will try , very very hard till that day.
and i wish , that day will come soon.

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eee,, after 3 month or rather 4 months in college , i haven even talk about college here.
haah.
college is awesome..
food is everywhere but they are super duper expensive..
urghh, thats sad. haha
made a number of new friends. but sadly all are my classmates,.
they are unexpectedly nice .
they joke around often and thats nice.
like ..mmmmm, atleast they are not a 110% nerds.HaH

people has been dressed like really prettay n nice to coll.
awh,,how i wish i can too.
but i insist not to.=)
or , shall i say
if u are pretty ,what you wear doesnt matter.
and i know i dont so, just forget about it.
heeeh.

and the dark side of college?
my result.
oh insane.
my results are dropping like mad.
like , i used to fail.
but not as low as 20%?
really disappointed with it,
somehow , i think i did the wrong decision to take up a levels.
but i dont care.
since i started it , i will go on.
untill i complete it.
yes , i will.
i dont do things half way.=).
thats so not my style.

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recently i had a dream.
a nightmare.
i saw my old self.
the bad girl who does everything bad.
ahhh, i screamed.
i dont wana see those again
those memories that i would like to wipe off from my life.
i am afraid .
what if people finds out what i did.
what will be their expression?
cant imagine..
i swear , i wont do whatever i did before.
=) .
nightmare, please go away.
=D.
atleast i m trying very hard now to be a good girl now.
teehee..

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to the one i loved.
hope you are in your best now.
decision has to be made.
life has to go on.
it's time to let go.
i hope at least , you will remember me.
adios,
for the very last time
i love you.