天天天晴

have been watching it for past few days.
omg it is so addictive...
but felt quite sad at that part where the main character quarrel..
lol..

在这个时代，没有人能遵守一生一世的承诺..
this is like so true..
hahhaha..
felt really sad when i saw that part...no doubt it's so true
not just love, friendship is the same too..

hhaha..
when i was young , i believe in forever.
i really believe there is such beautiful tales in the world.
and now , i wish to believe but i dont anymore.
the world changed.
the people changed.
cant imagine how is it gonna be after 10 years .. 20 years..
there is no more love but selfish..
awhh, thats so sad to say it out but thats so true.




lol.......
urgh, semester is on monday..gosh this is killing me!!!
regret for not revising my homeworks.
urgh
bio is still okay for me since bio is my consider ok subject..
math is half gone,,
gosh , statistics really kills me man
chem even worse..
its just makin me feel more brainless.






ahhhhhh,,, and sem exam will be my forecast result.
this is even worse.
gosh gosh gosh gosh gosh.
help me someone?
urgh.
how i wish i was in secondary,,
atleast there is amelia , or wen lee or wai yien or tching or voon yee or wai yi or elaine or sok kuan or anthony ...
just for me to ask them wadever i don understand?
finally realise i grew up.
living a life tat says ' u are on your own , miss silly'
gosh,,,!!!!!!!!!!1
i m a super dependent human.
i need someone!!!
please don treat me like that.,..
hahahahha
and i seriously must pass this time
its a deal with my dearest mum.owh
no pass means no more st john..
ohh emm gee..
thats like , taking oxygen away from me..
how can she???
but she is my mum anyway..
stil haf to do it..
just pray that the paper is gonna be alrite for me?
hahhahhaha.
hope so..
or just pray that she will say..its ok if u faill..nvm u still can go for st john activity..
i think she realise how obsess m i with st john cus she had been askin me.
did u pay attention in class or u are just thinkin of ur st john stuff again?
LoL.
she reads my mind.
hahahahahahaha.


heeeh..its me..awhhh*shy* LoL..swt, it has been ages since i put my photo on my lovely diary..so just bare with it..

i used to be a super ss person that i put all my ss pics on my dearest blog.. but once, i dont dare anymore because i think sometimes i just dont know where i standd..
but now .
I DONT CARE!
i wana do things that i wana do..
its for me to look back next time and atleast say ,'woah, i even took a pic like that'
i wana haf memories like that! heeeeh..
so i hereby officially announce , the lively and crazy me has returned *drum rolls*
thank you.=P

and next i present a lil uglay art piece from me.=)



jeng jeng..heheheheheheh....just some random thing.hahahahahahahahahahahahah





i really miss myself alot..
the one who laugh like insane .
who cares i got 'yi tai' or not.
who cares whether i m gonna haf a boyfriend just because i m a super tom-boy.
I WANNA BE ME , MYSELF AND I.
=)

unpleasant day

wad de!!!!!!

urgh...

i wana drive i wana drive i wana drive!!!

how i wish i can super loudly shout this out

grhhhhhh..

i hate to look at ur face when i tell u i haf to attend any sat activities cus u will be like, urgh, u know how tired it is?

LET ME DRIVE MYSELF THEN!

i freakin dun understand.

why at the first place u wana let me get my damn p?

for fun?

i can tell u it is super not funnay..

why do u wana complain how jam it is..i told u rite?

its either i drive myself or just take d bus!

not like i m a dum that don even know how to take a bus?

dont u know how annoyin is ur 'comments' about how jam it is on the road

oh please.

stop stickin d stupid p on d windscreen then. it just kills me more.

just peel it off n stick it in a sticker book!

it will definitely look better there than on tat dum windscreen!

urgh.

if u really dowan to 'teach' me how to drive.

just let me be then.

wads ur point of makin me hangin half way

and then let me listen all those. that i hated most.

no offence but i hate it when i need to rely on someone

I CAN DO IT ON MY OWN!

thats wad i know.

u seriously don haf to drive me if u really dont want to!

what i seriously need know is a great darn shoutout!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

nothing but angry. and disappointed.

oh my gosh...

why things just get hay wireed!!!!!!!!!!!

do u know how sad is it to see that post?

ahhhhhhh

why can things just turn into this way?

few months ago...

we were besties.

we laughed.

we shared everything.

we haf the same thoughts.

we promise to make everything better.

but why today , just because u wana stay at a place that for me, i think its unnecessary?

i dont know to trust u anymore.

you talk to me like u still care.

you still speak like we are still besties.

but what u are doin now is not like what we wanted to do,i thought?

i feel bad when u still smile at me.

i have no idea what reaction i should gif u.

oh pls,

this is worse than u tell me u hate me in my face.

maybe is not your fault.

maybe u did not change

maybe is me who changed.

stop blaming that 'event'

its not because of that that i get further from u .

maybe we have diff visions.

maybe we work differently to get what we want.

at the end of the day u are still my friend.

just that , we aim for different things.

haah.

人各有志， 如果那是你要的，我祝福你.

i cant never deny that i still miss u , as a friend that fight for the best.

wwwierd...

urgh..its 2.45 midnight n i dont feel sleepy by anyhow.
i have this bad feeling.
why...
missing someone somehow just kills me.
i tried to let go n put it down.
and i cant.
grhhhhhhhhh,
i hate myself for bein such a scary cat.
why am i like that?
i think i m really insane.!

how i wish i have the guts to stand up and tell u how i feel.
how i wish.
haha.




recently , things just happened way out of control.
想笑来伪装掉下的眼泪

cloudyy

gah, i tried really hard to live my life.
but things just cant stop bothering my life.

why is people just get jealous easily?
is authority really that important?
does milgram's experiment correctly proves that?
i guess so.
i dont understand.
cant you just explain why. ?
urgh..
i give up.
i hate those words coming out from your mouth.
those mean words that stab into my heart.
how can u
throw those words out like no body's buiness.
insane. scary. creepy.
thats all i can think about you.
anyways , i dont blame you.
because , everyone desires a different life.
all i can say is good luck.
and to be truthful , i really appreciate you as a friend , once even a close one.
maybe , we are just not fated to be close friends .
maybe , this is just a lil tiny obstacle.
i have no idea ,
but i think i need to take a break
atleast , to prepare myself.
and ready to take it up and let be friends again.
i will try , very very hard till that day.
and i wish , that day will come soon.

============================================================

eee,, after 3 month or rather 4 months in college , i haven even talk about college here.
haah.
college is awesome..
food is everywhere but they are super duper expensive..
urghh, thats sad. haha
made a number of new friends. but sadly all are my classmates,.
they are unexpectedly nice .
they joke around often and thats nice.
like ..mmmmm, atleast they are not a 110% nerds.HaH

people has been dressed like really prettay n nice to coll.
awh,,how i wish i can too.
but i insist not to.=)
or , shall i say
if u are pretty ,what you wear doesnt matter.
and i know i dont so, just forget about it.
heeeh.

and the dark side of college?
my result.
oh insane.
my results are dropping like mad.
like , i used to fail.
but not as low as 20%?
really disappointed with it,
somehow , i think i did the wrong decision to take up a levels.
but i dont care.
since i started it , i will go on.
untill i complete it.
yes , i will.
i dont do things half way.=).
thats so not my style.

===========================================================

recently i had a dream.
a nightmare.
i saw my old self.
the bad girl who does everything bad.
ahhh, i screamed.
i dont wana see those again
those memories that i would like to wipe off from my life.
i am afraid .
what if people finds out what i did.
what will be their expression?
cant imagine..
i swear , i wont do whatever i did before.
=) .
nightmare, please go away.
=D.
atleast i m trying very hard now to be a good girl now.
teehee..

=========================================================









































to the one i loved.
hope you are in your best now.
decision has to be made.
life has to go on.
it's time to let go.
i hope at least , you will remember me.
adios,
for the very last time
i love you.

after 5 months.

yes,i am back. with more emo sad stories, funny but dumb stories. =)

it's a seriously new life that i am having now.

urgh, college aint that fun like they mention.

i m being a quite loner human there.

i m afraid to talk.

cus, i dont know what to talk.

i m afraid people will get offended with what i said.

but i used to talk like that , just that they dont understand.

it's a new life that i m trying to fit in.

for me, i am struggling to fit in.

i used to think i can do it and i will fit in easily.

but i cant.

i dont know how.

maybe i m the naive one.

maybe i am the selfish one.

I JUST SIMPLY CANT FIT IN THE LIFE NOW.

people always say, life is complicated.

n i always ask why.

life is just being either happy or sad...

there isnt anything that is complicated,.

hah , n now i laughed at myself.

isnt it rediculous to ask why.

i m tired.

this time i really am.

how it became like that.

we played , worked , eat , sleep , study , laugh , cry together,.

and today, the bond between us just broken like that.

pieces of memories just scattered around.

why? i wana ask WHY.

i hate to see it when everyone is laughing at the outside but poking each other at the inside.

what is this? n since when , we happened to be so?

i feel like connecting us back but how,

tell me what can i do.

life havent been so miserable to me until today,.

haaah , am i just too dumb somehow.

phewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

hope everything is seriously gonna be better.!!!!!!!!!

seriously,this had been bothering me for weeks.

i need to settle this if not i seriously haf to drop my studies LOHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

.

grhhhh.h.....h.h.hh.h.h.h.h.h.hh

to you, imy.

alot,.very much,.sangat banyak,.

=)

random

was really mad yesterday.thx to someone who ffk me.
like , i really hate that.

anyway , i had finished jps's trials.
gosh my results are tirrible.
like , sobs.really bad
it's another sign for me to really start studyin for spm?
not like i do not want to but i really find no way those words can go into my brain.
what m i suppose to do huh?

LoL.
miserable still stays in my heart .
like wth , i have no idea what caused this but yeah.
friends . exams . and everything.
i started to afraid i will lose all of my friends.
those really true friends that really gave out their hearts.
those who really be there when i need help.
like , we dont have to talk alot bt we just understand each other.
how m i gonna take it if we're gonna be apart.
like , there will be a new life n blah.

and i started to lost.
whats life?
someone sys its great.
someone says its hell
and i dont know how m i suppose to look at the world.
someone told me to trust only yourself.
someone said everyone on earth is selfish.
someone just revealed how evil is the truth.
what m i suppose to believe,
i used to.
really used to be a girl.
that thinks life is great.
i will enjoy every moment of my life.regardless.
every memories in my life . its precious.
but why does the truth just prove me wrong
why does everyone changed when it comes to reality,.
i thought people always say no matter what , its friendship , love , brotherhood , family and so on.
thats so not true.haha
started to realise whats life and yet hope what i understand now its not what normally people call life.
haha.
my world sounds so dark now.=D




when is the super duper hyper me comin back i wonder..